all you need is love… right?
Lately I’ve noticed that I’ve been listening to some really sappy songs. I’ve been paying more close attention to lyrics, and in doing so I’ve realized that my iPod is full of love songs. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN. I wouldn’t usually be put off by it, considering everyone wants to be in love… but I have no one to try to fit into the lyrics. I mean… no one. Not even a distant crush where I could grab on to a random fact and just run with it. Nada. But… I kinda dig it. I always end up regretting putting a face to a song because after the love changes, the song changes too. For example, a previous lover of mine used to always put on Night Moves by Bob Seger whenever we were getting ready to go out (we lived together) ((and don’t make fun of me)). I swear, we would listen to it all the time on our record player and I fell in love with it, if not only because it reminded me of our best times. We would dance around and sing to each other… (It almost makes me sick to remember it now! I would surely scoff at anyone if they told me they were doing the same… but… in love, everything is different.) We were together in 2006, and only recently have I been able to hear the intro without being instantly transported back to the times we spent together getting ready. He was my first true love. It’s sometimes sad when I think about how we don’t talk anymore, how he’s totally in a different world than I am… but… we learned what needed to be learned from that relationship. Oh, so many things. Steph brought it up to me the other day, about how weird it is that you can be so totally involved with someone for months, even years, and after the breakup, sometimes you don’t talk again after it’s all said and done. After the going-backs and refusals and what-if’s and if-only’s and ALL OF IT. They’re gone. I go back and forth about this. On one hand, a clean break is best… I always try to follow my instincts and when it’s not beneficial, you have to go. But on the other hand, there was a definite connection that was made and is so hard to let go of. I usually just remind myself that if relationships were so easy that they could be defined and given a how-to guide, there wouldn’t be billions of books about how to get one, stay in one, leave one, stay out of one, and then sooner or later get into another one.
I’m explaining how I feel about it all, and it seems so cut and dry… but it’s only because I can’t imagine being swept away one more time. I’ve been there, done that, and each time it feels different it ends up being the same. I was talking to another friend about this the other day. The older we get, the less inclined we are to jump into something so blindly. The lack of lover gives more time to create a fantasy lover in your mind; everything perfectly tailored for you, including, but not limited to, looks, music taste, pasttimes, book taste, clothing style, political and world views… all of it can be created. So you’re sitting there, not having a “real” person to daydream about, so you conjure up your own. And no matter how many people you meet in your reality, there’s still a competition with this fantasy lover you’ve created. This supposed perfect person who is just biding their time reading classic novels or listening to fantastic records until they meet you. And will just fall at your feet because they are your perfect person and you are theirs.
I’d like to take a moment and thank all of my societal exposure for leading me to want this version of “love”. All sorts of media experience that has led me, and many others (male and female), to come and expect this sort of fantasy love to happen in reality. Love is the only thing that is assumed to have the ability to cross over from fantasy to reality.
What other things should we assume will cross over next?
3 years ago • 0 notes