soo it’s snowing.
I love watching snow swirl in the air. I am thanking God right now that I don’t have to go anywhere today.
I should probably be going to church tonight… considering I haven’t gone in about a month or two. But… I just haven’t really felt like it lately. I almost feel guilty about it, but I still have been praying every night and feel generally good about my life right now. Sometimes I’ll be riding on the bus into the city, and I catch myself thinking about how lucky I am. My job is better than I could have expected, and I have no doubts that I am meant to be here, in this city, right now. Everything that happened, good and horrible, had to be. To get me here. All of it was worth it. Before I found this job, I would pray everynight that something would happen. That I would be able to find some place to have me full time, so I could be back on my feet and stop having to borrow money from my parents for anything and everything. Steph was paying all of the bills and I barely had enough to buy Max’s dog food. Having absolutely nothing, and knowing that if my parents weren’t in a position to help me I would be seriously screwed, really made me appreciate my lifestyle before I moved here. I used to make so much money. It seems ridiculous to me now. And all I did was buy weed and stupid stuff at Target. I was careless with what I had. And then it was gone.
I’ve always had to learn stuff the hard way. When I was little, it was always doing the opposite of what I was told, just to see what would happen. And when I was older, it was living with lovers, dating someone who was way older than me, and not respecting bosses. Always the hard way. But. It’s all coming together. I thank God daily for what I have now. And I won’t be stupid with this job. It means more to me than any other. There’s room to move up, and I want to get there. I am so thankful for the opportunity to work there and I’m also thankful for the people that I’ve met. Getting back into a routine, having a purpose… those are things I will never take for granted again. It’s frustrating to me when some of my coworkers are so lazy and apathetic towards getting things done, because I know what it’s like to be out on my ass with nothing in sight. Like so many people still are! I had a conversation with one of my bosses my first week about how I was doing really well and how he was happy with my progression… and how frustrated he was that I was passing his seasoned employees as far as customer service and overall efficiency. But as I told him, I was out of work for months and they’ve been here all along. The appreciation levels are drastically different.
If it sounds like I am bragging, I don’t mean it to be like that. I enjoy all of my coworkers and I understand why we have different attitudes. I just want to explain why and how I am thankful for what I have now. The little things are important to me. No more grand expectations or excessive living. Just simplicity. It’s all that matters.
3 years ago • Notes